A few things most don't know about Kenny Hicks "Red"
He's fluent in all languages, including three that only he speaks.
Midgets look up to him.
Ghosts fear him.
He tips an astonishing 100%.
Once while sailing around the world, He discovered a short cut.
When sailing the wind is always at his back.
Panhandlers give him money.
He does Calculus in his head.
He always rounds to five decimal points.
He divorced his wife because he caught her littering.
His 7th Inning stretch could last through the 9th.
He's never not sat up straight.
As a toddler he taught others to walk. At the book store people crowd to see him read. Athletes seek his autograph. His passport requires no photo. Bigfoot tries to capture photos of him. Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact. He once had an awkward moment, just to see what it was like.
He once brought a knife to a gunfight, just to even the odds.
He has won the lifetime achievement award...twice.
He once taught a German Shepard how to bark in Russian
He lives vicariously through himself.
If he we're to punch you in the face, you'd have to fight off the urge to thank him.
Sharks Have a week dedicated to him.